Tuesday, February 19, 2013


The most bizarre thing you hear a parent telling her child is this: "You know, we never planned to have you. Your brother was gonna be the last born...but then you showed up" However innocent that revealing statement is, it is simply dumb. 

It is dumb in that it shows how ungrateful you consciously could be as a parent. It is dumb in that it drills into the psyche of the said child of how an inconvenience they are to you and the world as a whole. You don't just say those things.

As Parents, such things happen to us don't they? What do you do with the unplanned? What do you do when something out of the blue shows up? A certain general was asked about the importance of planning his war. He said, "The planning and scheming was useless at war, but rather indispensable!" 

You have probably heard this saying: "Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans" , haven't you? In there is the secret.

Picture this: A man is waiting for a new job...he has actually been promised about that job. In between now and the new job, some other amazing opportunities come by. Question: Should he abandon them in favor of the job that is not in the bag yet?

That is the million dollar question right there! Most of our real chances in life are in between our now and our promised chances that are not yet bagged!

Many people have been virtually stuck with excitement as they waited for the promised break to come, at the expense of many opportunities that paled in the shadow of the promise. Eventually, the promised break never materialized and they got so disillusioned.

Many other people stopped doing what mattered to them again in excitement and expectation of the promised break. As a result, they veered off their goals that contribute ultimately to their life signatures...and crashed badly. Time was lost, momentum was lost, opportunities were lost. Now, they need extra energy to get back on track again.

What do you do when an unplanned promise of a blessing comes your way? Here are my thoughts:

  1. Put your feet on the ground: Many people get virtually paralyzed with excitement and anxiety when some good news comes of a promised break. When this happens, make sure that your day's activities are back to normal as soon as possible. Learn to wait for the break and only bank it when the contract is signed and money is in the bank. That is the time to celebrate. For now, do what matters today...and that does not involve a promise that has not materialized yet!
  2. Remember the Vision: This is perhaps the most critical aspect of our lives. The only constant in our lives is our calling...our mission and vision in life. We should not abandon this and down our tools in excitement for the coming break. This should remain priority in our lives. The break should find some space in our already predetermined vision-centered activities.
  3. A bird in the Hand is worth two in the bush: If an opportunity comes by in between your today and some future, take the now! Live in the now. Take the now and run with it. You are sure about today, you are not sure about tomorrow. Recognize the beauty of this chance. Recognize the value of this child...that you did not plan for. It is a blessing, that is why it's called the Present. Living otherwise is full of denial, struggle and unhappiness.
  4. Think in the Long Term: It is advised that as we are making decisions on our wait,  we evaluate how our lives will play out in the long term. We mostly get bogged down by running for quick fixes. The problem with them is that we always get back to where we left off when we abandoned the ship of our life signatures.
  5. Recognize your Acres of Diamond: The alternative you are overlooking today could very well be what you should be focusing on. The Simple reason is that you have all the details probably in 3D about the now, well enough to take action on them NOW. For the most part, that is where our acres of diamond fall. This is critical!
  6. Opportunities are Disguised as work and they wear overalls: Sometimes, the promised break is a break because it guarantees less work than that which you are expending on your vision right now. Many people fall trap to promised breaks that guarantee less work and more money. Even the Bible says that 'he who does not work should not eat'...
  7. Re-organize: It would be foolish not to factor in the promised break. The thing to do is to mentally make some time for it, while firmly prioritizing your acres of diamond. When the promise comes, make sure it does not take over your vision, values and mission. Make sure the aspects of your life signatures are firmly embedded in your daily schedules.

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