Friday, June 14, 2013


"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years." --Mark Twain

Father's day is not officially celebrated in Kenya. In Uganda, It is celebrated every 21st June. In the USA, it is celebrated on the third Sunday of every June. That third Sunday makes it most popular as the Father's day world wide.

You have probably heard that Mother's day is more colorful that Father's day. You probably heard of the story about how men in a certain prison sent thousands of Mother's day Cards to their mums, and just a few cards on Father's day. Why is that?

Some years back, while I was leading a mastermind spiritual group, I posed this question to the several men in my meeting: "Who among us does not have serious issues with his father?" Not one person disputed. All of us had serious hangups with our dads.

Fathering is such a powerful thing. Without a father, there is no life. That simple concept should have all #Atheists re-think their philosophy again. I can emphatically say that nothing exists without a father. Creation itself has a Father.

The most crucial aspect of fatherhood however is propagation after your own kind. This means that what I do as a father today is not in any way an isolated incident. Fatherhood speaks of seeds! Fathers not only carry seeds for life, but they also carry seeds for legacy with each day they live and do things. Nothing goes unnoticed in the end!

So really...what is fatherhood all about? Well, after all the action heroes we see in movies for two hour sessions have faded away...what is left off of real examples of fathers?

Well, my take is that Fatherhood is not all that complicated. Why? Well, men (who are mostly fathers) do not have the capacity to handle lots of details at a go. Fatherhood is simple! At the most basic level, fatherhood involves providing, protecting, being a friend, and caring.

It is all about the following:

  1. Keeping Your Word: A man, a husband and a father who would keep his word, keep his promise no matter what is a true representation of fatherhood the way it should be. His word is so valued you could take it to the bank. Women are so trusting in nature and they easily take in words that we give them. Children are in fact used as examples for having faith. They trust so readily and so easily. A true father keeps his word to his wife and keeps his word to his children. So what happens if he cannot keep his word? A true father would be devastated. A pretender father would not remember, so he would not feel anything.
  2. Staying Power: Fathering is all about commitment. Can your wife count on your support in the long run? Can your children count on you prioritizing them over other things? How long are you available as a father? Men tend to vacillate when things get tight unlike women. A true
    father stays and stays and stays and stays. Their loyalty to God and their family is unwavering. A father remains a father in steadfastness at all times and at all seasons. This does not mean that he is not tempted to take an easy way out. However, in spite of the temptation, a true father remains supportive of his wife and children.
  3. Nurturing: To be honest, any man can deposit his seed into a woman and a child is formed. Top on the list of what scares pretender fathers is this statement: "I am pregnant!". Some pretender fathers will respond by accusing the lady claiming that "the baby is not mine". Some will sweat bullets and disappear out of her life. Women have been gifted with this wonderful ability to nurture life from conception...till death. I kid you not! I have always wondered how my own mum would call me every time I am in trouble...I wonder how she she senses it...and I have told this to my wife who marvels all the time at this ability. But here is the thing, a true father will do everything possible to help mothers nurture the children to maturity. In other words, a true father will take care of his seed!
  4. Giving Vision: The biggest crisis we have in the world is that of leadership. This is largely because leadership is becoming extinct at the family level. A true father has a personal vision and a family vision! He speaks this vision over his family in their hearing and in their absence. He depends on the Divine to see further than the mother and the children would see. A true father is a master dreamer for his family. I have always told ladies to shun any man who does not have a vision for life. I have always told the ladies to beware of men who are not passionate about anything. Such like living dead men will be overrun with the responsibilities of fatherhood unless something massive in resolve happens to them. Let me repeat: A true father has a vision.
  5. Honor: A true father honors his wife...whether she is present or not. Many men (especially pastors) have this knack of 'showing off' their spouses in public. Am not against it. Anybody can do fact, it is generally expected of you to do so. Real honor however is when nobody is watching....and to a good extend, when your wife is not there! How do you honor her? Your character honors her. A person who honors his wife will constantly communicate, prophesy, comfort, teach, and lead. The best way a father can honor his children is to honor their mother! Nothing nurtures a woman more than being honored by the husband...and really knowing for sure that the husband honors her. He will know what she cherishes. He will seek to provide it. He will keep learning and growing and learning and growing in a bid to keep honoring his wife.
Like I said, fatherhood is not complicated. It is a simple calling. Simple things however are not necessarily easy to do.

A happy Father's day to everyone out there! Enjoy!.


  1. Excellent post. I loved number 4. I created a workshop that I do for men that focus on men having a vision for their life and family. You are right on the money with this post. One thing I did a few years ago was to create a personal vision statement and then we created a marriage and family vision statement. When a man has a vision it puts his life and priorities in order.

  2. Awesome view Bernard. I am thoroughly glad you are reading. Life Signatures will need to pick your brains further concerning the nuts and bolts of number four. Let us know how that can happen. If there are men asking how they can give vision to the do we help them? Thanks for reading.

  3. Lawrence, when you have a minute check out my website at I write concerning vision and the 5 elements of living a powerful vision. I also wrote an ebook that is on Amazon titled 'Vision Impact'. It encourages, equips and empowers individuals to realize and live their God-designed vision. You can check it out at Amazon and read a few of the messages contained in the book.

  4. And if I may "Amen" Bernard's Vision Impact book :) I've read it and its absolutely awesome. It's right up your passion for Life Signatures Lawrence :)

  5. Wow, this is powerful Lawrence. I really agree with that last statement, simple things are not easy! Still the simplicity ensures that any willing person can be what they are meant to be. Just need to do it.
    Great post my friend.
    And lots of congrats to you and Beth on becoming brand new parents the second time :)

  6. Bernard, I have already bookmarked leadtoimpact...and I am definitely on course to getting 'Vision Impact'. Thanks a whole bunch for this.

  7. I love whatever you Amen has just grown in value. Thanks.

  8. Am so grateful that you are reading. And on becoming new parents, you guessed it...there is a new blog post on it! Check it out!

  9. ''A person who honors his wife will constantly communicate, prophesy, comfort, teach, and lead.''
    That is the true defination of a priest, what God expects of us fathers to be, thank you for the thoughtful n inspiring messages n wake up calls you share. am following you all through..

  10. It is so nice to hear from you Daniel...and to be connected with a man like you who cherishes the privilege of fatherhood. Thanks for reading. Thanks for your comments...and please lets share with others!


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