WHY 'I DONT CARE' HELPS A GREAT DEAL!

It has been said that people don’t care what you think until they know how much you care. Caring is supposed to be a good thing. It is supposed to be a virtue…some people use it as a value. Yet I could say that in the world of man eat man society, that ‘care’ could be a thorough impediment to success.

There is something called a ‘thick skin’. That means that you do not give a monkey what people think, let alone what they say! In other words, you are not moved by people’s opinions. Now, again you need to give a monkey about what they say and do…because sometimes ‘feedback’ is the breakfast of champions.

Geoffrey Semaganda, CEO Action Wealth

To be honest, the world has become more ruthless. Gone are the days were ‘it took a village to raise a child’. These days, less and less people take no notice when a child whom they do not know messes up.

Frankly, I care so much. I care not to mess around with people’s spaces. I care not to disturb the peace. I care so much. I care not to step on people’s toes. I care not to waste their precious time. I care so much. Some years ago, I would slaughter a chicken while in the village without batting an eyelid. These days, I just can’t bring myself to do that ‘heinous’ act.

This attitude of being so ‘careful’ especially about what they will say and do can cost a visionary so much. I attended a seminar few hours back dubbed ‘Action Wealth’ by one Geoffrey Semaganda. He moved from Uganda during the days of unrest and found himself in London…and years later, he is a successful business consultant, trainer, speaker, and author and has travelled over 20 nations. I loved what he told us. He said that if what opinions he holds are stepping on our toes, we should just call him an idiot and move on.

You see, Geoffrey has learnt to grow a thick hide that doesn’t give a hoot what you say or think about him.

Now developing that think skin does not come automatically. It doesn’t come while lying down somewhere waiting for the dream to materialize. It comes with intentionally going out there and literally ‘knocking on people’s doors’. The first several might show you the door, but who cares? At least you are in the process of activating your dream.

Curiosly, there is an underlying factor behind that caring attitude that robes us of success is fear. Fear of what they might say and how you might be depicted. For the record, people will always say things. That is why we have news and newspapers every day. There is no day you will wake up and find no news and newspapers…people always say things.

For a visionary to go places there is this simple process that ought to take place. We need at any one point in time find ourselves iterating somewhere in between the process:

• ·         Identifying the Dream: Clarifying what we want, refining it and sticking to it.

• ·         Strategizing on How to achieve it: That is what gives a backbone to the dream.

• ·         Taking action and growing a thick skin: Implementing the dream gives it life…and grows it further than our expectations. Without action there are no results.

So, if you are an individual who ‘cares’ so much, you risk sitting on your dream. The key thing to do would be on a daily basis, find ourselves doing something…anything that activates the dream we hold in our hearts.

Look, I have done embarrassing stuff in the past in the name of seeking help for my dreams. I have written proposals and thought people will be excited about my dreams and instantly fund them. I have asked for money from a dozen people. Frankly at times, I started caring when I was rebuffed systematically by the results. Yet great value is placed upon learning from our past mistakes.

However off the actions are, at least they are better than nothing. In growing a ‘thick skin’, we are talking about not giving up. We are also talking about looking at the embarrassment straight in the face and ask ourselves what we would have done better and go for it again…and again.

Let me say this: When it comes to caring, let us care for other people’s welfares…but let us not care so much what they will say or do to us when pursuing our dreams!

Have a caring day, wont you?

THAT KNOCK ON OUR HEARTS

Some weeks back, after being disillusioned with the state of my life, I wrote the following letter to my coach of Intelligent Performance International:

"There is this great visionary I once knew. He had a lot going on for him. His future was bright. He had set his sights high and there was no stopping him.

He had and still does have so great potential. Something happened to him and he stopped dreaming. He spends most of his time in the house watching TV, he seldom reads.

He has been waiting on a dream...nay, he has been waiting on several dreams that are now seemingly dead. Most of these dreams were detours from his vision. He thought that he could use the fruits accorded with these dreams to fuel his vision. So he stopped working on the vision, and embarked on waiting for the dreams.

The dreams are no more...and now he's back to nothing but the vision.

You know him, you have spoken to him again and again. He has been below your radar for months now, ostensibly waiting for the dreams to happen.

His name is Lawrence Namale.

I am writing this to seek your help to get back on track. I hope we can converse at your convenience.

Blessings."

For some reason, I feel like I am repeating myself for the umpteeth time here. But that is Ok. I have come to learn that I write mostly from the heart. I have also come to learn that for the most part, what is deep seated in the heart will always  be knocking for attention every now and then...and for the rest of our lives, however benign the knock is.

I have also come to learn that that knock can fade...or rather, we can become so desensitized to realize it. The fact is, for the sole purpose of life signatures, for the very reason of everyone having a life purpose, we will all hear that knock of our hearts every now and then.

The biggest determinant of relevance in life is how we answer the knock on the door of our hearts. Look, I have had that knock very many times. More than three people have confirmed independently about my 'knock'. Interestingly, even before they could 'confirm', I already knew that sound of the knock.

Life being what it is, I have very many times either disregarded, or grown thoroughly desensitized to the knock on my heart. And let me tell you that this never comes without a price. There is always a stiff price to pay later on when we pursue shinny objects that take us from the knock in our hearts, what matters to us.

It is kind of like the Prophet Jonah who was told to go preach and he rebelliously went the opposite direction...only to realize that the knock was still there. In the end, he did preach yes, but not before people had lost some valuables in the ship, he had spent 3 days in the belly of a fish and had delayed delivering the message.

I know this might sound woo-woo...but let me just air it out here: For years now, I have felt the knock on the door of my heart about going in to full time ministry...

There are times that I walked totally away from it to the very opposite dimension. Yes, I am talented, I am skilled. I am a good and anointed life coach, I am a good writer as well as a big time motivating speaker. But the knock on the heart tells me that these things are either secondary, or auxilliary to the call.

Let me ask you today...what knock have you felt in your spirit, in your heart for years on end...? It is worth considering that knock. I have paid a very steep price especially in 2012 for shelving the call...and for thinking that it is something I could take up when I have accomplished all.

The truth is, all is found in accomplishing the purpose for which I was created. The same applies to you. I wrote some months back about being faithful to the spark, I think it is important that we do that. I also wrote about 'now that we are here'.

These messages have been knocking so strongly in my heart of late...and I think there is a good reason why.