HOW TO HAVE A WORLD CLASS MARRIAGE (SEASON 2 OF 2)

Is a 'World Class Marriage' a possibility? My guest Writer Ngina Otiende continues today with a resounding "Yes" to that question. However, you have a part to play. First according to Ngina, you must understand that having a great marriage is not a function of abracadabra, let's wave the magic wand and viola! No, a great marriage takes time. Secondly, you must take total responsibility to have a world class marriage. You cannot point at someone else. Let us continue with the rest of Ngina's message on this:

Ngina Otiende is a writer and trainer who loves helping others take charge of their lives. She's passionate about intentional growth and relationships and wants to ignite the same passion in others. She's married to her hero and they live in MD, USA. You can pick up her free eBook when you subscribe to her  Blog. You can also follow her on Twitter and find her on Facebook.

3. Cultivate intentional thoughts and actions. 

The further you go down the road of marriage, the more you begin to realize that greatness in the relationship comes dressed in work clothes. And thus it needs a mind to match! You can't wait to feel like being nice to your spouse in order to be nice. A husband doesn't wait to feel like providing in order to get out and go make a living. He gets out of bed and goes to work everyday, regardless of feelings.

A great marriage requires a wiliness to plant the right kind of seeds in difficult seasons. It means understanding that marriage is a grace-fueled journey and our lives must to reflect that. It means making up your mind to love the choice we made (and going ahead to yanking out the rear view mirror)

It means understanding that God does not do marriage on our behalf - you can't chalk it up to “God’s will” or “it is what it is” mindset but must purposeful to pursue solutions and make a demand on His promise. it means goes the extra mile and does not wait for the other person to jump on board before it does it's part. It serves anyway. 

4.  Stay counter-cultural and counter-flesh

Strong marriages come from doing the uncomfortable, the counter-cultural and counter-flesh. You understand that you cannot have your cake and eat it, thus you cultivate certain confines and disciplines. 

For example when everyone else is watching sensual and explicit entertainment and believes it's harmless since they are married anyway, you put a hedge over what you expose your eyes to. Because you understand the power of the mind. When people think it's silly to have boundaries with the opposite sex, you are adamant about your associations and relationships. When society wants you to prefer your children over your spouse, you understand that they come in third (and that's where they thrive), after God and your spouse.

You base your marriage on the Word of God, not what is popular or culturally acceptable, even what you grew up believing. You find what makes your marriage tick and then go all out and do it. 

5. Know how to have fun 

A friend once shared how one morning at their breakfast table, she snatched a slice of bread from her husband and ran upstairs. Her husband, in full play-mode took off after her in hot pursuit. Her helper and nanny who was more traditional stood by watching and would later express her worry over the her “disrespectful” behavior towards the “man of the house”.

If you want to move your marriage from average to great, you must understand that "all work and no play makes Jack & Jill a very dull couple" 

Laughter and fun is no respecter of culture or lifestyle. If you want life in your marriage, you must invest life in it. Intentionally seek ways to be silly together, to laugh, to enjoy life. Where I come from, words of endearment, holding hands or  hugging in public is often an acquired habit for many couples. So break the rules. Go all out for your marriage. 

Also dream together. Share each other's worlds, encourage one another, challenge each other, keep each other focused. Reminisce together, talk about the future and possibilities, explore ideas and thoughts. Let your marriage be a safe haven when you can dream and laugh together. 

6 Learns to be a peacemaker, not a peace keeper

A great marriage does not mean the absence of conflict. But at some point in marriage I thought it did. After all, all the newlyweds I knew looked blissful, like they never argued or had conflict a day in their life. 

Of course that was poor judgment on my part because I wasn't living in their house and couldn't possibly know what went on behind closed doors.  That's why I talk about what happens behind my doors so that I can help other couples just like me. I want couples to understand that the presence of conflict and other relationship issues does not signal the end of a relationship, just presents an opportunity for intentional growth. 

To move on to a deeper level, you must learn to pursue peace. I say learn because many of don't know how to pursue real peace. We are either passive - withdraw and hope things will resolve themselves - or are too aggressive - we wreck havoc in our resolution efforts.

Real peace does not come from passivity or aggressiveness.  It begins when we begin to learn to to die to fears, ego and opinions and learning to listen and empathize and extend grace. It means having the courage to seek trusted help when circumstances warrant it. 

This is not a complete list obviously. Other things include having marriage mentors, understanding roles and responsibilities in marriage e.t.c But these points can be a good start. Feel free to add your own thoughts in Comments!

What are your thoughts people?

HOW TO HAVE A WORLD CLASS MARRIAGE-(SEASON 1 OF 2)

The topic of 'World-Class' has been top on my mind for more than a month. Nobody wants a wishy-washy life. We all want 'world class' things. 

Marriage is one of the hottest conversations on earth any time of the day, with people from nearly all age brackets talking about their thoughts, their expectations, their hangups, their fears and their highlights of marriage.

Today's 'World Class' article is about marriage! Yaaay! It is brought to us by a great writer on marriage, relationships and 'intentional life'. It is a two part series that my dear friend Ngina Otiende has put together.

Ngina Otiende is a writer and trainer who loves helping others take charge of their lives. She's passionate about intentional growth and relationships and wants to ignite the same passion in others. She's married to her hero and they live in MD, USA. You can pick up her free E-Book when you subscribe to her Blog. You can also follow her on Twitter and find her on Facebook. Enjoy!

WHAT IT TAKES TO HAVE A GREAT MARRIAGE-PART 1

Can you remember your wedding day? 

Can you remember all the dreams and aspirations you had? The adrenaline, the dopamine coursing through your veins, the joyous expectations for the future? 

For a moment did you ever imagine that this person you were vowing your life to would one day make you so mad, hurt you so bad that you'd want hang them? Did you think that at some point your marriage would demand more than you thought you can give?

As for me I did not! When my mum and eldest brother walked me down the aisle on a sunny Saturday morning, I had no idea that the heartthrob of a man standing at the end of the aisle would one day  hurt me enough to make me want to throttle him.  

Truth is am yet to meet somebody who got married with the sole intention of being miserable (or making their spouse miserable). 

We get married because we desire happiness and joy and fulfillment which comes from spending the rest of our lives with the one we love.  

But before long, we begin to realize that happiness and joy and fulfillment isn't handed to us on a silver platter (for some reason that part eludes most of us in premarital). As we get along in fact, it begins to appear as though the one we vowed our lives to is the sole cause of our unhappiness. 

And that's where many of us get stuck, between the dreams and expectations in  our heads and the reality in our lives; the things we dreamed about when we got married and the reality of marriage. 

Most of us want to bridge that gap, we want to know how to make our marriage flourish. But sometimes we don't know what to do. And other times we just don’t want to apply ourselves.

So here's some ways you can get your marriage out of that ‘no-man's land’. For without world-class thoughts and habits, you can't have a world class marriage (Tweet this)

1. Understand that a great a marriage takes time to grow, it doesn't happen in a day

Most of us want our spouse and marriage to change like yesterday. We look at our friends who've been married 15 years and demand that our 5 year old marriage behave the same way. We come into marriage with a lifetime of baggage and hurts and pains and expect the same to be healed completely by the time we get home from work. 

What we fail to understand is that a strong marriage is not a sprint. It takes time. We must be willing to invest ourselves for the long haul, to give issues in our marriage time to heal and resolve. She won't be a proverbs 31 wife a few years into marriage (the proverbs 31 wife was a snapshot of a lifetime) and neither will he be the greatest dad in the world on the day junior comes home from hospital. We must be willing to invest, to exercise, to apply ourselves and build strong relationship muscles. Muscles are not built in easy seasons, but in tough ones.  Tweet this

So we must weather the tough moments, the days he won't talk and the day she burns your food. 

We don't have the luxury of checking out of the relationship (and finding 'refuge' elsewhere e.g work, other relationships) because our spouse has "failed" to deliver in a certain area within a given time. 

2. You must take personal responsibility for your happiness and relationship

I used to think that if my sweet husband would change or act/become/treat me a certain way, then we'd have a dream marriage. He was the problem as far as I was concerned. 

It took a while to begin to get a clue that I was responsible for my own happiness and the growth of our relationship.

A great relationship doesn't start when my husband changes, it does when I do. So often we hinge our happiness and growth on our spouses  A wife may think "If he could treat me better maybe I'd feel more intimate" A husband might think "If she'd take better care of herself, maybe I'd feel more attracted to her." The truth is, in marriage and if we all looked for reasons not to intentionally love the one we married, we'd find a bundle and then some. 

To move your relationship from that no-man’s land (the dreams in your head to the reality in your life), you must understand that God does not hold you responsible for your spouse's actions or in-actions. Only your own. In the same way, He does not hold back His rewards based on the actions of your spouse.

He will find a way to meet your needs in your marriage but only if you walk according to His ways and values. And His ways include taking personal responsibility for your life and marriage, going the extra mile, turning the other cheek, loving lavishly and extravagantly as He's loved you, taking responsibility for personal growth 

(of course am not talking about taking "personal responsibility" and keeping quiet when you should be talking and finding help, e.g in cases of violence in marriage. See point #6 for more)

To be continued in the next post...Feel free to add your own points in the comments section below!

Check out the next post in the series here for a full read

HOW TO BE A WORLD CLASS VISIONARY (PART 2)

“Sometimes there’s no evidence that your dream or your vision, or your idea – is a good idea. There’s no evidence. And sometimes there’s no evidence that this is the right time to do it. But the big question is: Where are you looking for evidence? Don’t look in your checkbook to decide whether or not you believe in your dream. Don’t look at the stock market or the news. The only place to look to decide whether or not you believe in your vision and your dream and your idea – is in your own heart”. –Marcia Wieder, CEO, Dream University

[There is no doubt that Vision is one of the greatest values of Life Signatures. Today’s post comes to us through permission from the Chief Visioneering Office at Visionary Business University, Jeffrey Howard.

In 2010, Jeffery launched Visionary Business University of which I was a student, lining up awesome faculty members such as Mary Morrisey, Micheal Gelb, Shawn Duperon, Max Simon, Eric Lofholm among others.

In the very first class, Jeff and Marcia Weider talked about this topic, “12 Ways to Become a Master Visionary in the 21^st Century”. It is from the excerpts of their interview that we will learn some nuggets about vision as well as ‘How to be a World Class Visionary’. This is a continuation from the previous post...enjoy]

Marcia Wieder, CEO and Founder of Dream University

Jeff: So let’s dig in to those twelve ways be a twenty first century visionary. Can you walk us through your process for that?

 (Allow me to step in here and enumerate the 12 points since this is a long discussion)

Marcia: Yeah, so this came out of the three years of soul searching. So we’ll just do the abridged version here, but I would say the first thing is:

1. 1.       You’re a twenty first century visionary if you’re comfortable with uncertainty: I love it. One of the best quotes I ever heard on this came from Tony Robbins, where Tony said that, and I’ll paraphrase because I don’t have the exact words, but it was something like, “you’re level of passion in life is directly correlated to the level of uncertainty you can comfortably live with.” That we really feel so passionate and alive in the face of uncertainty.

1. 2.       The next thing, number two: You are a twenty first century visionary if you have extraordinary faith. You’re able to act on what’s important to you without assurances, promises, or guarantees. So it’s like your ability to walk on faith without having the strategy or even clear next step. I always think about that wonderful Raider’s of the Lost Ark scene where Harrison Ford has to step out across the chasm. He has to step out completely on faith. And he’s looking down and he’s seeing a bottomless pit, but at some level, he’s able to find the place inside of him that has faith. And he steps out and lo and behold…

Jeff: The bridge is there…

1. 3.       I love this next one: A twenty first century visionary knows the secret to enlightenment. So let me tell you what it is. I was at a Pachumama Awayan’s fundraiser luncheon and my dear friend and client Jack Canfield walked in and I said, “Jack, Jack, I discovered the secret to enlightenment.” He leaned in and three people were with him, they all leaned in. I said, “The secret is to relax.”

1. 4.       Number four: You practice getting empty. A twenty first century visionary knows how to empty. This has to do with the exhale again. You empty so that you can actually hear the voice of the divine and/or feel its presence. You might create rituals, or sacred space as a way to invite this in. To live on purpose requires three things. One is that we have a sacred or spiritual practice so that we can hear the quiet deeper wisdom voice beneath the ego. Two is that we know what’s unique and special about us. Three is that we can find a way to be of service with it.

1. 5.       So number five: Twenty first century visionaries are living on purpose because they’re connected in with their essence or soul. They’ve learned how to relax and to let the ego fall away, not fall apart. We need the ego, but one of my favorite questions is, “Is your ego in service to your soul, or is your soul enslaved by your ego?”

1. 6.       Number six: You are aware that miracles happen in their own time, and you are able to wait rather than asserting your will or effort too soon. You trust the process enough to let it unfold. Impatient sometimes, but that’s why going back to relaxing and exhaling is good. It all ties in together.

1. 7.       Number seven: You are a twenty first century visionary if you are receptive and know that give and take is not the same as give and receive and that giving and receiving need to be done in balance. So you practice restraint, allowing space for the space where true creation and original thought happen. So it’s really an interesting thing. Visionaries aren’t often on send mode. Just sort of talking and outputting. They know how to pause. I love that proverbial pause button. They know how to empty. They know how to relax. They know how to be receptive and allow, actually draw out of others, and really wait for the right moment to be really effective and really strategic.

1. 8.       Number eight: You’re a twenty first century visionary if you don’t primarily live as a problem solver, we touched on this already, but more as a creative force. You’re aware that it is more powerful to move toward what you want, than it is to move away from what you don’t want. So just a different energetic, yet both creation and destruction serve. I think in general visionaries are more, I don’t know maybe I’m off on this one, but they’re more, I want to say they’re more open-minded, but in some ways they’re not. In some ways they’re more opinionated. Maybe they’re just more of everything.

1. 9.       Number nine: You have a conscious relationship with the silent witness, the part that can see many points of view, all sides, and new perspectives. You are a big dreamer with great imagination, and have the willingness to traverse new terrain, which of course takes us back to number one, uncertainty.

1. 10.   Number ten: You are collaborative rather than hierarchal. You have the courage, clarity and commitment to share dreams and ideas, empowering others to take ownership. That means, delegating is like the small baby step in this department. Visionaries know how to inspire and enroll others. They know how to empower others. They know how to put the right person on the right seat in the right bus, going the right direction. They know how to say, “No more,” and, “No thank you.” So that the right person can take the lead on something that they’re passionate about.

Jeff: Sure, instill creativity in others and instill responsibilities in others as well, which most of us have probably held close to the vest for a long, long time.

Marcia: Absolutely. But I love when I can find team members who can do something better than me.

Jeff: I totally agree.

1. 11.   OK, number eleven: As a twenty first century visionary, you are crucial to the dream movement’s ultimate dream, which is to make the world a better place. I know that with one highly intentional step the world can and has changed.

1. 12.   And finally – and this is interesting because it’s where we started Jeff – but Number twelve: You are a twenty first century visionary if you have tremendous integrity. Beyond keeping your agreements with yourself and others, you answer to a higher source. And you have a purpose, mission, vision, calling, and dreams in all areas of life. I think that the healthiest visionaries are not just consumed with their work.  Sometimes they are consumed with their mission, but I think that there really is something about creating a ‘dream come true’ life that really is about looking in all different areas and different aspects of your life.

So my commitment to being a twenty first century visionary basically is this…

My purpose is to believe.

My mission is to help others believe in themselves and their dreams.

My vision is to lead a dream movement in order to make the world a better place.

And I would say also, my calling is to help us remember who we are and why we’re here.

======================================================================

Marcia Wieder, CEO and founder of Dream University and is leading a dream movement. With over 20 years coaching, training, and speaking experience, her inspiring message, style, and wit has touched audiences from 50 to 5,000 at companies like AT&T, Gap, and American Express.

Whether she’s speaking at the Stanford Business School, speaking to executives in

China, or addressing young women at Girl Scout Camp, Marcia’s riveting style deeply

impacts audiences worldwide.

She’s the personal dream coach to Jack Canfield, she stars in Beyond the Secret with Bob Proctor, and she’s a member of the prestigious Transformation Leadership Council, along with John Gray and Marianne Williamson.

As past president of the National Association of Women Business Owners, she was often in the White House, where she met former U.S. Presidents Ronald Regan, Jimmy Carter, and George Bush Sr., and as a columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle, she urged her readers to “Take the Great Dream Challenge.”

Marcia has appeared several times on Oprah, the Today Show, and in her own PBS TV special has written fourteen books that have been translated into numerous languages.

Her newest is called Dreams are Whispers from the Soul.

HOW TO BE A WORLD CLASS VISIONARY (PART 1)

“Sometimes there’s no evidence that your dream or your vision, or your idea – is a good idea. There’s no evidence. And sometimes there’s no evidence that this is the right time to do it. But the big question is: Where are you looking for evidence? Don’t look in your checkbook to decide whether or not you believe in your dream. Don’t look at the stock market or the news. The only place to look to decide whether or not you believe in your vision and your dream and your idea – is in your own heart”. –Marcia Wieder, CEO, Dream University

[There is no doubt that Vision is one of the greatest values of Life Signatures. Today’s post comes to us through permission from the Chief Visioneering Office at Visionary Business University, Jeffrey Howard.

Marcia Weider, CEO-Dream University

In 2010, Jeffery launched Visionary Business University of which I was a student, lining up awesome faculty members such as Mary Morrisey, Micheal Gelb, Shawn Duperon, Max Simon, Eric Lofholm among others.

In the very first class, Jeff and Marcia Weider talked about this topic, “12 Ways to Become a Master Visionary in the 21^st Century”. It is from the excerpts of their interview that we will learn some nuggets about vision as well as ‘How to be a World Class Visionary’. Enjoy!]

Jeff: So Marcia, I know you've been extremely busy lately with your speaking schedule and the recent success of Dream U Camp, so I’m very grateful that you could share the time with us, thank you so much for being here.

Marcia: From one visionary to another, I’m excited. I’m honored to be kicking off the series.

Jeff: Thank you very much. This is such a great topic, and of course, perfect for starting us out on this Visionary Business University Journey. So let’s jump right in, shall we? So Marcia, what does it mean to be a Visionary?

Marcia: What’s a Visionary? (laugh) Well, I know that you’re asking for your listeners, because clearly you are one, and what you've put together here with VBU is all about being Visionary.

At a simple level, a Visionary has a vision or a big dream - articulates it with clarity, so people get it. Expresses it with passion so people get excited about it, and I think a true Visionary invites and inspires others to join them. They get that they don’t do it alone. And my favorite quality being a Visionary, is that Visionaries don’t focus on strategy. What my dear friend Mike Dooley calls “the dreaded how’s”.

They don’t focus on the ‘how’s. There’s a funny paradox that I’ve been studying over the last 20+ years around dreaming and dreaming big and visionary thinking and that is: The difference between a dream and a fantasy like winning the lottery is that in a dream, or in a big vision, you can design a strategy for getting there. Right? So different than a lottery ticket where you can’t do anything to make it happen. But the paradox is that if you go to the strategy part too soon, you’ll often compromise the dream down.

So if you never go to strategy, it remains a fantasy. If you go to strategy too soon, you wind up compromising the dream down to what you realistically believe is possible and it just simply becomes another thing to check off your “to do” list. So I think true Visionaries don’t focus on the how, you know at some point you have to go to strategy, right? You have to know where you are in order to design the strategy for where you want to go, but the $64,000.00 question is “What has being realistic cost you?” If you’re overly realistic it will cost you your passion and your dreams. It’s been medically proven that people with passion and dreams live 7-10 years

longer and have better quality of lives. So, if we never go to strategy, we’re in La La Land, but if we go to strategy too soon, we’ll often kill off the passion and kill off our dreams.

Jeff: Yeah, that makes total sense. And of course, at Visionary Business University we’re all about taking from the vision all the way through the strategy in a step by-step sort of executable implementation process.

Marcia: And the challenge with going to strategy too soon is the realist inside of us wants to know: Where are you going to get the time, and Where are you going to get the money? And in the early phases of creating a vision or a dream, or great idea, you may not have it all figured out. Nor should you. So if we start to put the lid on too soon, it’s just going to have us compromise the dream down before we explore the possibilities.

Jeff: Cool. One of the things that I've noticed is that a lot people don’t naturally associate dreams with business. So why do you think it’s essential to have big dreams, particularly in your business and when you’re developing your business?

Marcia: I love this question. I’m a regular resource for the YPO (Young Presidents Organization). I speak for Fortune 500 Companies because I speak about dreams in a very practical way. And the bottom line is that in business, dreaming is serious business, and the driving force for transformation. Without vision companies fail. Plain and simple. And without our personal vision, life can become routine, mundane, and stagnant.

There’s actually a medical term called apoptosis, just like it sounds (ay-pop-tosis) that says that when your brain believes you've outgrown your usefulness (which can happen at any age – we see it most often when people retire, get laid off, experience an empty nest), when people or companies stop having vision, the brain sends a message to the body that it’s no longer needed. And people and companies start to self-destruct.

So one aspect of it is: Visionary thinking is what keeps companies ahead of the curve, but also it creates a passionate work environment, and passionate productivity go hand in hand. At the end of the day, happy people make happy employees; and happy employees produce better results. But I think there’s a little more to it too because I think people will join your company or organization because they’re inspired by you or your vision. But they will stay (the retention conversation) when they see that they can bring their unique gifts, their purpose, to the team or organization’s vision in a way where they feel acknowledged or appreciated. So really having a passionate visionary culture is critical to success in business.

Jeff: I totally agree. Something that you said is actually an interesting segue to something I wanted to ask you. This first week of Visionary Business University and about getting people connected with their passion and their purpose. I have heard you speak about purpose and mission – kind of a similar concept. So why do you feel that’s so important – the thing that really drives it all. (Do you think?)

Marcia: It is. Without purpose, you can climb to the top of the mountain only to find out: Wrong Mountain. The work that I teach is about helping people turn their lives right side up. Right now we live primarily from our clocks and calendars and we are so mired in reality that many of us don’t even know what our dreams are, much less how to make them come true. We think dreaming is frivolous as opposed to really getting that it’s the thing that’s really going to give us more longevity and a greater quality of life.

So for me, you know, somebody asks you to do something, and we run to our calendars to see where we can squeeze one more thing into an over-scheduled life. And usually what moves to the side (or gets shoved to the side) is something for our heart and soul, something for our well-being. We’ll skip exercising. We’ll skip meditating. We’ll skip our spiritual practices. We’ll eat a cookie on the run kind of thing. And I’m guilty of this too.

But the practice of really trying to take care of ourselves is also an integrity conversation. What I love is that I believe (through my work and many other people’s work), that someday soon when you open your calendar, what you will primarily see scheduled are the activities that are moving you forward on the dreams that are all the expression of your heart and soul. That’s what living on purpose is all about. For a lot of us it does start with the saying, “No more, no thank you,” and clearing some clutter. But also you have to do the inner work, the exploration.

Jeff: With every new step that continues like a domino effect, right?

Marcia: I love that you’re saying that. Take the next step. (laughs) whatever you’re next step is, make the phone call, send an email, sign up for a workshop – do something to demonstrate that you’re more committed to your dream than to any doubt, fear, or reality that might get in your way.

Jeff: Yep, taking that first action step is just crucial to do the whole process, to everything. I’m so glad that you said yes to this, because this is beyond the vision of what I had to start this off. It’s really inspiring to have this conversation with you so I definitely appreciate being here with you, actually being here with you.

….To Be continued

=====================================================

Marcia Wieder, CEO and founder of Dream University and is leading a dream movement. With over 20 years coaching, training, and speaking experience, her inspiring message, style, and wit has touched audiences from 50 to 5,000 at companies like AT&T, Gap, and American Express.

Whether she’s speaking at the Stanford Business School, speaking to executives in China, or addressing young women at Girl Scout Camp, Marcia’s riveting style deeply impacts audiences worldwide.

She’s the personal dream coach to Jack Canfield, she stars in Beyond the Secret with Bob Proctor, and she’s a member of the prestigious Transformation Leadership Council, along with John Gray and Marianne Williamson.

As past president of the National Association of Women Business Owners, she was often in the White House, where she met former U.S. Presidents Ronald Regan, Jimmy Carter, and George Bush Sr., and as a columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle, she urged her readers to “Take the Great Dream Challenge.”

Marcia has appeared several times on Oprah, the Today Show, and in her own PBS TV special has written fourteen books that have been translated into numerous languages.

Her newest is called Dreams are Whispers from the Soul.

HOW TO HAVE A WORLD CLASS LIFE

"Discontent and restlessness is part of the searcher in you" ~ Dr. Mike Murdock [Tweet this]

World class! Who does not want that? There was a time I was flying with my boss on Economy class. For some reason, the airline 'upgraded' me to Business Class as I was boarding. It was so funny that the boss wanted us to swap tickets right then and there! I laughed about it. The consolation was that the boss also got the same 'upgrade'.

When everything is constant, every human being has an innate desire for 'more', for better. I love people who have a 'holy discontentment' of what they are now, what they are getting and where they are. I am one of them.

I just upgraded my dream car to the world class Rolls Royce!

God loves them too. In fact, I would say that all that God has done and is doing, whether obscure or prominent is for the general purpose of fitting in a 'world class' agenda.

The free dictionary defines the phrase World class as follows:

"Ranking among the foremost in the world; of an international standard of excellence; of the highest order;

"of or denoting someone with a skill or attribute that puts him or her in the highest class in the world"

The phrase World Class could mean among other things: Uncommon, Extra-ordinary, 'Out of this world'. I do not know of an individual who would not be interested in living a world class life...OK, may be the super-spiritual and the ignorant.

However, wanting to live a world class life is one thing, actually living it is another. What I am convinced strongly is that no one was meant to live an ordinary, average life. A simple study of the make up of the internal systems of a human being tells you as much.

All of us have the potential of living a world class life. A world class life not only fulfills you, it reverberates to impact others positively in more than one generation. For the record, a world class life is not the life of popular personalities in Movies, Sports, Television and Politics...far from it! Well, all these people have gained notoriety yet notoriety is not the yardstick of measuring a world class life. 

• There are wives who know that they have world class husbands,
• There are husbands who know that they have world class wives,
• There are children blessed with world class parents,
• And there are parents who are guiding children to be world class citizens,
• There are leaders, and then there are world class leaders whoever obscure they could be.
• There are world class coaches, world class teachers, world class pastors, world class friends and so on.

The following are ways you can have a world class life:

1. Know and Intend: If we are going to be world class, we must first be clear in knowledge of what world class means. We need to know what a world class life looks like. Here is the thing, your definition of world class is totally different from mine. Its true. Your definition of success is totally different from mine. It is not a measure of right and wrong. It is a measure of desire. That's why my pastor says that "If you are happy with what you have, even God cannot change that". After knowing your world class, it is time to have a daily intention about it.
2. No Compromise: Refuse to settle for anything less than world class! I wrote about this here. One of the greatest tragedies of humanity is the masses who settle for less (Tweetable quote). Just the fact that you know what a world class means to you does not mean that it will fall of the sky to you. It takes time, commitment, patience, collaboration, failure, feedback and so on to finally experience the world class life. It is a Life Signature. As visionaries, we never really graduate in life...we keep reaching out, being better, deeper, more caring, more loving and more valuable!
3. Selfishness: OK here we go with raised eyebrows! Look, if you want to be world class, you have to start with yourself. I am a firm stickler of racing against yourself, focusing on yourself. Before you can compete with the world, have you competed against yourself? There is no champion who never self competed. In fact, the best way to love someone else is to love yourself. "Love your neighbor as you love yourself" is not one of the golden rules, it is a commandment. This is a big one. This point alone has created as many champions as it has felled many from prominence. Take note.
4. Selflessness: Oh! Did you feel the change in the atmosphere with the mention of that word? A world class life is not entirely selfish. These four words, "How may I help you", deepens the owner so great, showing forth their capacity to care. A world class life is lived on these two words, "I care". It is a life has the focus of others at all times. If your ultimate goal in life is to matter to others in a positive way, you are a candidate for a world class life. This is as big as God and His very nature.
5. Order: A world class life is full of order! A world class husband for example has his world (house) organized in order under his leadership. You cannot have a world class life with dis-order. That is worse than an oxymoron in that it does not exist!
6. Excellence: You are continuously seeking for ways to improve. You are open to correction. You are always looking for the latest in technology or advancement to use. You want things done the best possible way. You are do what is expected plus one. That is world class.
7. Passion: Ever seen a world class cemetery? Who would want one anyway? There is no passion in death. I mean, I have never met a passionate dead man or woman. Have you? So if you want a world class life, how about get some great passion going on in your life? How about you be passionate about what matters to you? Passion does not talk of feelings. Passion talks of commitment. The feelings ensue from commitment, they do not drive it.

From today, we will be welcoming several guests here on Life Signatures to share with us their thoughts on several aspects of their lives as we focus on a world class life.

Stay tuned.

THE SHORTCUT TO BEING A CHAMPION

Yeah right! I am so sure you did not open up this article in anticipation for the shortcut! For the record, there is no shortcut to championships. The point is that every human being wants to make it grandest at the shortest possible time. 

The paradox however is that the world was not structured that way. If you honestly thought that there is a shortcut to anything that really matters to you, I am here to tell you that that dog wont hunt! So why am I titling this topic with that word shortcut?

Andy Murray...the 2013 Wimbledon Champion

Let me tell you what has been happening to me of late. Most of my readers will know that I am an ardent jogger. I have written loads of what I consider to be inspiring stuff that came right from my jogging escapades. Of the recent past however, I have been tread-milling so much in the gym (but I don't say). 

So on two occasions, two different people have given me the same feedback on different dates. The first guy approached me, kind of like in awe of me and asked me if I was a professional athlete. I laughed and said, "No way!" But here is the thing...he marveled so much of how I keep up on the treadmill. He wondered how a human being would do what I was doing.

The second guy however did not marvel as much, yet he gave the same feedback. He asked, "Man, are you a professional athlete or what?" He needed an answer. And ladies and gentlemen, what I told those two guys is the answer to the shortcut of becoming a champion....in anything that matters to you.

I told both of them that I have a personal goal that I am running to achieve...before you log off, this is not another article about goal setting...at least not directly. This is an article about getting noticed by concentrating on what matters to you.

Here is the deal about shortcuts to greatness. The shortcut to greatness is to know what it takes and totally committing all in your power to getting there! Tweet this. I never saw a champion who was not committed! The reason as to why those two guys at the gym (by the way, I am skinnier than them) saw greatness in me was that I showed a consistent level of commitment to that which I considered important to me.

You see, my personal goal is to be able to run ten Kilometers under thirty minutes. That is what drives me the moment I get into that gym. As a result, people are already identifying me as a champion and yet I am so far away from that goal. At the moment, I am able to comfortably run six Kilometers under thirty minutes. There is still four to go...and achieving that is no mean feat I tell you!

So there are two things here:

• Find that which you are passionate about: Life Signatures  is all about doing what matters to you so well that it positively affects your world, and ultimately, THE world. Tweet this. The key here is what matters to you. Take a look at my example. Do you think I set out to be a world champion in jogging? Hardly! Yet it matters to me so much that I am passionate about it. The result? People are getting motivated about commitment. If two guys could gather the strength to converse with me in the gym (I wear a natural stone face), it tells you that there are scores others who get inspired silently but are not saying it. When you passionately pursue your 'what matters', there are two people who benefit from it. The first is yourself, and the second is others. And the more others benefit, the more you are motivated to keep at it. And the cycle continues.

• Stay Committed no matter what to it, UNTIL it is done: A man of honor for example is not the man in a tuxedo on his wedding day. A man of honor is a STAYING MAN. He knows what it takes to be a great husband and dad and he gets himself committed to fulfilling it. This is where many champions are tested. Nothing comes without a challenge. Dreaming is the wedding and honeymoon. Grinding the results will need the honey moon to be over! This only comes when someone is committed. There are days when you will not feel like getting out there. Your commitment index will help you here. There are days when you will feel like a master...but only on a lower level...and a total novice when you move the challenge a notch higher. This is the crux of this post. Stay committed!

The shortcut to being WORLD CLASS ladies and gentlemen, is to find out what matters to you and get committed to it until you get there! Join me next in a series of posts about being WORLD CLASS throughout the month of July and August.

STAYING ON POINT IN THE PRESENT WORLD: FIVE SWIPES AT THE CHURCH

"There is no perfect Church, if you find it, do not join it, you will spoil it!" That is what my Pastor used to say in those early days of my Christian walk. It used to make sense and it still does in an ever increasing way especially in this current world. 

That being said, there are some things that I see many churches and church organizations do, especially on social media that just leave a bad taste in my mouth. "Who do you think you are to judge the church"? You might ask. Well the simple answer is that I am the targeted audience of the church and so are billions of other people across the globe. 'Worldly organizations' as the Church calls them, refer to me as a customer and they spend billions on me!

Mavuno Church Kampala has moved away from 'Church verbiage'

Now, I know many people would initially cheer me on because of what they expect me to say. I know very many people expect me to go up against the idea of tithes and offerings. I am sorry to burst your bubble, I am a firm believer in the Biblical teaching of giving. So some people might drop off right here, but I would urge you to read on.

First off, the Church like any organization has its goals. It has an audience to reach to...which is the world. The same applies to every local expression of the global church. We need to understand that all of us, in our quest for Life Signatures have our targeted audiences.

A sorry day it is when grown ups do not know who their audience is. Any visionary has a laser-like focus on his audience. His desire is to be able to reach out to as many people in his targeted audience with consistency and value.

With the view of the targeted audience, I have a few bones to pick with the church and church organizations. Now, let us know that these same things apply to thousands of visionaries across the world. It is time to unlearn the old and move on by being relevant and current. You cannot have new wine in old wine skins, can you?  So, as I take a swipe at the church, I am also taking the same swipe on all of us visionaries thus killing two birds with a single shot! Oh, the joy of writing!

• The first swipe at the church is the idea entitlement: This has the church or church organizations have the spotlight on themselves and not the people they are supposed to serve! "The church is untouchable", they would say. "The church is entitled and deserves to be respected", they would add. No one is entitled to anything on earth if they do not expend effort to acquire it! Tweet this. Just because you have a bunch of names (and do not get me started with church names here) that contain the word 'church' in them does not mean we will all flock towards you. You are not entitled  to have followers. You are not entitled to receive tithes and offerings. But here is the catch: Your audience is entitled to receive exemplary and quality services that your organization revolves around. Donge? (Kenyans will understand that word, Donge)

• The second swipe at the church is the idea of conservatism: Just stay on social media for minutes and you will be appalled at the 'advertisements' that churches carry out. You have photographs of preachers wielding big microphones...you have photographs of the congregation in 'church routines' such as lifting hands in worship...you have photographs of preachers 'fervently praying' while laying hands on people...heck, you even have scores of photographs of people sprawling on the ground apparently after being slain in the Spirit...All these antics are deeply rooted in conservatism (which has its place), but does not serve the targeted audiences. Your adverts are full of preachers portraits, and for good measure, some guys add (from USA). If Jesus Christ was the Pastor of some churches today, I am not sure he would 'advertise' Himself in the manner we see these days. It is simply appalling, lackadaisical, un-thought out, and generally puts people off! There, I said it!

• The third swipe at the church is the ever constant use of technical jargon: The spiritual anecdotes you are throwing around to all and sundry cannot be understood by your targeted audience! That is why Jesus Christ used relevant stories of the day in getting the Message across. Jesus was not all that obvious! He would use a parable that would make you ask questions, reflect, think and re-evaluate your life. He talked about bread, knowing that the targeted audience would want that any day. He talked about water knowing that they had water issues then. He used the language of the streets! Sadly, the church thinks that using the street lingo is sinful! I used to know of some Christian brothers and sisters who would find me really questionable just because I did not greet them by saying "Praise the Lord!!" Please Church, understand that you are here for your targeted audience and not for yourself. Find out what resonates with their lives and use that to communicate. And no, I am not saying that you compromise your message!

• The fourth swipe at the church is the Over-promising and under-delivering: "Come for miracles signs and wonders!!"...and then when we do...the only sign we find is a preacher shouting himself hoarse while sweating bullets! Look, if there will be miracles, there will be no need for advertising them! I kid you not! I have literally walked out of church services that lacked excellence and passion (yet I am a believer...what happens with the targeted audience?). Yeah, I know you will say that the Spirit of the Lord is the one at work...then in that case He would not need you to shout hoarse, would He? One of the hallmarks of excellence in Christianity is "Your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel". You walk into a church service and you can easily see that the preacher did not prepare, the choir did not prepare, the logistics are pathetic...and we are supposed to endure all that 'because we are Christians!' We are also supposed to leave the tithes and offerings behind after those ordeals! Look, I need to see preachers going for Presentation Skills classes...and I kid you not...they do need these classes! This is part of preparation. I now concur with my Pastor years ago who told me to get a degree before I can think of full-time Ministry! Thanks Pastor Johnny!

• The fifth swipe at the church is copy-catting (Being plagiarist): It simply means that you feel inadequate in your mandate. I will never ever forget one day in Kampala, Uganda. I walked into a church service. The preacher mimicked all and sundry from the healing televangelist Benny Hinn. From the songs the man sings in his crusades, to the pitch, to the timing of coming on to preach, to the voice intonation! I felt so cheated! Apparently, if I had never watched Benny Hinn, that would have been a powerful service. I can assure you this guy spent hours (if not days) practicing for this show! What a cheap presentation! If we needed to watch Benny Hinn, we can just go to his website! So years after I walked out of his service, I saw the dude on TV. This time round guess as who? He came championing 'Wisdom Keys', the same thing that Dr. Mike Murdock (My mentor has done all his life). And your guess is as good as mine...I changed channels and watched a Nigerian Movie! What happened with us being Original? Why do many people in churches feel the need of using someone else methods without as much as issuing a disclaimer? The consolation to the copy catting came some few years back in Africa. Suddenly, church organizations started competing on who can bring the biggest name in Christian circles to the country! T. D Jakes came and went, Benny Hinn came and went, Eddie Long, Alvin Slaughter, Juanita Bynum, Joyce Meyer, and many more. Their colossal impact forgotten! So who is back at the pulpit? Yourself! That should tell us something.

Like I said, there is no perfect church. There never will be this side of eternity. That however can never be an excuse for lack of excellence, innovation, creativity and relentless focus on our targeted audience each year!