Some weeks back, after being disillusioned with the state of my life, I wrote the following letter to my coach of Intelligent Performance International:
"There is this great visionary I once knew. He had a lot going on for him. His future was bright. He had set his sights high and there was no stopping him.
He had and still does have so great potential. Something happened to him and he stopped dreaming. He spends most of his time in the house watching TV, he seldom reads.
He has been waiting on a dream...nay, he has been waiting on several dreams that are now seemingly dead. Most of these dreams were detours from his vision. He thought that he could use the fruits accorded with these dreams to fuel his vision. So he stopped working on the vision, and embarked on waiting for the dreams.
The dreams are no more...and now he's back to nothing but the vision.
You know him, you have spoken to him again and again. He has been below your radar for months now, ostensibly waiting for the dreams to happen.
His name is Lawrence Namale.
I am writing this to seek your help to get back on track. I hope we can converse at your convenience.
For some reason, I feel like I am repeating myself for the umpteeth time here. But that is Ok. I have come to learn that I write mostly from the heart. I have also come to learn that for the most part, what is deep seated in the heart will always be knocking for attention every now and then...and for the rest of our lives, however benign the knock is.
I have also come to learn that that knock can fade...or rather, we can become so desensitized to realize it. The fact is, for the sole purpose of life signatures, for the very reason of everyone having a life purpose, we will all hear that knock of our hearts every now and then.
The biggest determinant of relevance in life is how we answer the knock on the door of our hearts. Look, I have had that knock very many times. More than three people have confirmed independently about my 'knock'. Interestingly, even before they could 'confirm', I already knew that sound of the knock.
Life being what it is, I have very many times either disregarded, or grown thoroughly desensitized to the knock on my heart. And let me tell you that this never comes without a price. There is always a stiff price to pay later on when we pursue shinny objects that take us from the knock in our hearts, what matters to us.
It is kind of like the Prophet Jonah who was told to go preach and he rebelliously went the opposite direction...only to realize that the knock was still there. In the end, he did preach yes, but not before people had lost some valuables in the ship, he had spent 3 days in the belly of a fish and had delayed delivering the message.
I know this might sound woo-woo...but let me just air it out here: For years now, I have felt the knock on the door of my heart about going in to full time ministry...
There are times that I walked totally away from it to the very opposite dimension. Yes, I am talented, I am skilled. I am a good and anointed life coach, I am a good writer as well as a big time motivating speaker. But the knock on the heart tells me that these things are either secondary, or auxilliary to the call.
Let me ask you today...what knock have you felt in your spirit, in your heart for years on end...? It is worth considering that knock. I have paid a very steep price especially in 2012 for shelving the call...and for thinking that it is something I could take up when I have accomplished all.
The truth is, all is found in accomplishing the purpose for which I was created. The same applies to you. I wrote some months back about being faithful to the spark, I think it is important that we do that. I also wrote about 'now that we are here'.
These messages have been knocking so strongly in my heart of late...and I think there is a good reason why.